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I'm not gonna keep this LJ anymore. ^^;;
It's just because of a lot of things that have been happening. Those who actually read this, may have noticed that since sometime in September, I've kinda abandoned this thing. I have my reasons for it and all. ^^ I just don't feel like writing journals anymore. Well ... I do, however, a lot of the things I feel like writing about, aren't really too appropriate to blog about in public. So I may keep a private journal, maybe in Microsoft Word, or someplace away from the internet.
For those of you who know me more personally, you may have noticed a slight change in me since my most recent break-up. It's okay, though. I'll be fine. ^-^ It just like ... ahh, it just depresses me a little. It just wasn't meant to be I guess, and there's nothing that can be changed about that, so it's something I'm going to have to learn to live with. It's just like having something completely amazing and thinking things can't get any better, and then having it taken away from you. It kind of makes you wish you never had it to begin with, so you wouldn't know how amazing it felt..and therefore not felt like you were 'missing out' or in lack of that one thing that you feel completes you so well..
For the moment, and I'm kind of sure that this will pass, I'm not interested in dating or love or anything like that. Maybe sometime later in the future. I'm only interested in gay guys nowadays, and how many gay guys do you know that date girls? Exactly. So yeah. Life kind of sucks in that area. Besides, there's only one person I'm interested in being with, and that just didn't work out. ><; It's okay. He's my best friend, still. That's all that matters. I'm trying to convince myself that love isn't as important as I make it out to be. Gosh, all my life has been like 98% about romance and stuff. Before I even started school, when I was like four. >>; I need to focus on other things. It's not working so well, though.
That's why my mood oscillates so frequently. One day I'll be really happy. The next, I'll be extremely depressed. It just seems like there's nothing to look forward to. I could get over him if I wanted to. But that's the problem. I don't want to get over him. Even if it's unrequited.. love feels amazing. I know this is unhealthy somehow. But I don't want to change. Not yet. Being in love is still fantastic, even if it's extremely depressing. Yeah. I make no sense.
So I bid you adieu, my LJ. May we someday meet again in the future. ^-^
It's just because of a lot of things that have been happening. Those who actually read this, may have noticed that since sometime in September, I've kinda abandoned this thing. I have my reasons for it and all. ^^ I just don't feel like writing journals anymore. Well ... I do, however, a lot of the things I feel like writing about, aren't really too appropriate to blog about in public. So I may keep a private journal, maybe in Microsoft Word, or someplace away from the internet.
For those of you who know me more personally, you may have noticed a slight change in me since my most recent break-up. It's okay, though. I'll be fine. ^-^ It just like ... ahh, it just depresses me a little. It just wasn't meant to be I guess, and there's nothing that can be changed about that, so it's something I'm going to have to learn to live with. It's just like having something completely amazing and thinking things can't get any better, and then having it taken away from you. It kind of makes you wish you never had it to begin with, so you wouldn't know how amazing it felt..and therefore not felt like you were 'missing out' or in lack of that one thing that you feel completes you so well..
For the moment, and I'm kind of sure that this will pass, I'm not interested in dating or love or anything like that. Maybe sometime later in the future. I'm only interested in gay guys nowadays, and how many gay guys do you know that date girls? Exactly. So yeah. Life kind of sucks in that area. Besides, there's only one person I'm interested in being with, and that just didn't work out. ><; It's okay. He's my best friend, still. That's all that matters. I'm trying to convince myself that love isn't as important as I make it out to be. Gosh, all my life has been like 98% about romance and stuff. Before I even started school, when I was like four. >>; I need to focus on other things. It's not working so well, though.
That's why my mood oscillates so frequently. One day I'll be really happy. The next, I'll be extremely depressed. It just seems like there's nothing to look forward to. I could get over him if I wanted to. But that's the problem. I don't want to get over him. Even if it's unrequited.. love feels amazing. I know this is unhealthy somehow. But I don't want to change. Not yet. Being in love is still fantastic, even if it's extremely depressing. Yeah. I make no sense.
So I bid you adieu, my LJ. May we someday meet again in the future. ^-^
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